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"My Vaccine for Despair"
The Holidays are bearing down like a steam engine with no brakes. “LORD! I’m not really ready for Thanksgiving or Christmas. And I’m certainly not ready to give a present to “so and so.” The Psalmist, in his 42nd Psalm, understands me. His song echoes in anguish down centuries of ravines to me, this Holiday Season.
“Why are you cast down, O my soul? Where are you, God? ” I’m riveted. This poet set his dilemma to music. He directed a choir to sing it in notes for all to hear! I want to ask the poet/musician, “What do you mean by your ‘soul’?”
“Ah,” he answers, “my imagination, and my memories, my reason, my affections and yes, even my will! I think that’s how I would describe a soul.” And so I listen. I listen to the notes. I listen to the words:
My Imagination – I’ve seen a deer panting for water brooks. That’s how my soul feels. I am parched. I am dry. The only water I have are my tears and they have been like food not just in the daytime but the night as well. My tears scream at me and ask, ‘Where is your God?!’ . . . Waterfalls and ocean breakers go over me!
My Memories – I used to lead others to God’s house with glad shouts and singing. There were festivals! I remember what God did at the Jordan River, at Mt Hermon, and Mt Mizar. Startling things! Mind-numbing things. Mind-blowing things.
My Affections –I long for you, God. No, I pant for you. You are my very source of life. I miss you. I grieve for you. Have you forgotten me? Even my enemies notice and oppress me continually.
My Reason – There are two things I can always do: I can “remember” the Psalmist tells me. And I can “praise” Him constantly. Oh! Does that mean I have a choice?
My Will – I will choose to remember You and what You did! You actually “commanded” your love. Does that mean that I can choose to LOVE someone that I don’t really love in the natural part of my “soul?” And You will give me a song?! I will choose to hope in God! I will choose to trust in the Lord with all my heart and my soul. I won’t lean to my own understanding of situations. I will choose to thank Him with my prayer of Thanksgiving as a sacrifice and a gift. I am confident in my God. I won’t forget who is my God!
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